I lied...lots of awkward things happen to me.

Okay I like to think I can go days hours without something awkward happening. Oh silly expectations that I have...I just set myself up to fail. Today started out normal, not super weird, just the usual amount of weirdness. Like when I'm at work and I try to find my boss so I walk in the hall  which was filled with students for some meeting who all stop talking as I pass and watch me walk. Course I couldn't find my boss...so I ended up passing again and...again. But that was survivable.
The real story starts at Walmart. You know how you think that you always get the cart that makes the most noise? Well my roommate actually does. Every. Time. And I just find it hilarious. So we're finally done shopping and we are heading to the check out lines. We are just strolling along, behind two slow girls who are taking their time, as we are clunking (and yes I mean clunking. *cluuuuunk cluuuuuunk cluuuuuunk*) they slowly turn and look at us. Granted, we were walking slightly close to them and our cart was pretty loud so it may or may have sounded like a creepy pirate with a peg leg was following them. I laugh trying to help the situation..they gave me a slight smile and swerve down a different aisle.
We get to the check out line. First thing I notice? The man was wearing a santa hat, with the ball hanging directly in the middle of his face. The girl in front of us handed him a 5 dollar bill and let me just tell you how their conversation went:
"This is a 20 dollar bill."-man in hat at register
"It's a 5..."-girl that handed him a 5 dollar bill
"No, it's a 20. That is a 2 upside down, not a 5."
"Uh. Pretty sure that is a 5."
"Nope. Here's your change, 15 dollars."
Sooo essentially if I heard correctly that girl made money when she went to Walmart. What am I doing wrong here?
Then it's our turn...
"Hi how are you?"-hat man
"Good. You?"-Courtney
"I'd be better if I wasn't wearing this hat. Then again it's not as bad as that guy's (motions to guy a few rows over...that guy's hat was standing straight up) But he's like a peacock..very extravagant. *long pause* oh wait! Not extravagant in thaaaaat way but...extravagant. Like your outfit, it's extravagant. You've got style."-hat man
At this point Courtney and I are doing the awkward smile and nod...the awkward chuckle and shuffle, just trying to hurry up this much too painful process.
"Okay, I guess you have style too." says hat man looking at me. Oh thank you Mr. hat check out man. I am just soo flattered that you think I have style too. It's almost like I've been waiting my whole life to hear you tell me that.
"You see that girl on check out 5? With the red hair? You should go tell her that you like her hair. It will make her day, she did it herself. But will you tell her? No. Because you are cold hearted girls. Cold hearted."-Hat man
I know they say you can find some interesting people in Walmart (such as the boy who looked like he was 12 years old but he was married...is that legal?) but when you add me into the equation...it's just not good in any way. Except for maybe the funny stories that I get to share with my lovely blog followers. (Is anyone even still reading these silly ramblings? If so I applaud you and thank you and bow down to you, because you are a mighty being. So thanks. You are wonderful.)
And that is all. Goodnight y'all!

Sometimes awkward things happen to me

Sometimes awkward things happen to me. Or I make awkward things happen. It's not that I necessarily mean to. But a while ago I decided to stop fighting my awkwardness and just embrace it. Since then it has gotten worse. Luckily Hollywood seems to be on my side since awkwardness is now becoming more endearing and is now just called quirky and "cute." Not that I fit in that category, but I'm at least leaning that way and hoping to be pulled into it and embraced by the rest of my fellow awkward friends.
Today was one of those days where I wasn't quirky. I was just awkward, let's be honest and say it was not as bad as some other situations I have been in, but it was not one I would like to relive again any time soon.
This story revolves around a boy. We shall call him "Billy Bob" for reasons that are obvious. It's the perfect code name, back in those middle school days when code names were all the rage and every boy you ever had eye contact with had one. Mine were oh so creative...such as Johnny (because I loved Johnny Depp) Sheen (because I can't talk and I messed up his name) and "the hat" (because he was wearing a hat at a football game we went to) What can I say? I'm an expert at code names.
Anyways, Billy Bob is cute. Like one of those people you look at and wonder if the rest of the family is that attractive or if all the good genes just went straight to him. (do other people ever wonder that?) So we are sitting in class* in rows with some empty seats in the middle.
*certain parts of this story may or may not be changed just to deceive Billy Bob...who I'm almost positive isn't reading this, but if he is, and it's obvious that this is you...then hello, and welcome.
So he walks in and goes to sit in the middle seat, as he is passing by us he ends up kinda hitting my foot with his and says sorry. Then sits down. Then, me being me, I kiddingly, let me strain that by putting it in italics...kiddingly, lean over to my friend to whisper "he said sorry to me" in a girly, way-too-excited-about-one-simple-word way, to which she replied "oh goodness, you are like a sixth grader!" Which may or may not be a fair statement.
The rest of class is passing as I try not to look at him. I'm doing a great job until at one point I peek over there and my friend sees and of course HAS to point it out to me that I am "creepin" on him. This said friend, then swooshes her hair over her eyes and says that I look like I'm creepily staring at him through my hair.
*quick side note-if you know me at all, you know I laugh super easily at just about anything that has any amount of humor in it. And my laugh is...interesting. It is loud and unique. One of those that if you hear it but can't see where it is coming from, you just know that I am somewhere near by.*
So as this said friend swooshes her hair at me in class, I laugh...RIGHT as the teacher stops talking about something spiritual and the class is completely quiet. It was just the beginning of my laugh...so it came out sounding more of like a loud HAAA before I slapped my hands over my mouth and shimmied down in my chair as everyone turned to look at me...including Billy Bob from down the row. Oh hello, in case you didn't know who I was, you probably do now...so glad to make such an impression on you. Now, don't you want to get to know me better?