Remember how my first post I rambled on and on about jealousy?
Remember the girl I talked about?
I was right. It was me. It's my fault that I'm jealous. She could care less about me. Honestly, I don't even think she gives me a seconds thought anymore. And now I finally know why I am jealous.
She has my life.
When I moved I realized that she got my friends...all to herself and so even though of course I still talk to my friends, she gets to hang out with them, see them everyday and make new memories with them, instead of just reliving the old ones like I have to. She's apparently grown really close to a certain guy. A guy that I love. He's amazing. He's funny and sweet and one of those people I would have died without. I miss him, I always have but lately, instead of being a dull pain, it's a full out ache. Now instead of missing him, I MISS him. I see funny stuff he said to her or fun stuff they did together and it just makes it worse. I don't hate her, she deserves to be happy. I just wish I was there too. I wish I was there for his funny comments or his random adventures. I just wish I could be one of his best friends again. He probaby doesn't give me much of a seconds thought either, but once upon a time we used to be super close and best friends.
It makes me sad when I realize that I am holding onto these best friends and I don't know they feel the same. I miss him...I miss our friendship...I miss us.
But now he's made a different us and replaced me...
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